The Zombies of Shoe-Ville

With the onset of monsoon I decided go in for a make-shift arrangement to save my hush-puppies from being drowned to death. So after quite a few postponements I found myself in the Bata showroom.

Bata belongs to that elite group of companies which have been in India for so long that people would be stunned to know that it's a Swiss company. Anyways... back to the main plot!

I was having a look at the floaters/rainy shoes on display and there were 2-3 other customers in the shop. They were trying out leather shoes, sneakers etc. I noticed this really strange transformation in people when they're trying out a pair of shoes. This is really spooky but I was quite amused at the whole scene that goes on, not just in the case of those particular customers but most of us, when we're trying out shoes.

Once a new pair of shoes is put on, it's like some supernatural force has taken you over. You become stiff and have a different kind of a look in their eye. You walk around the store concentrating on the steps you take more than anything else. The attention span towards the shoes/footsteps in those 5 minutes beats the combined attention span from the time you've paid for them to the time you discard them! The way people walk is it's just the way those zombies walk in horror flicks. The distribution of weight on the legs is, forget normal, just freakish!

Think about the last time you've tried shoes... Now you know what I mean!

I almost imagined the guy blurting out... "Im-ho-tep... Im-ho-tep..." a la The Mummy. And once the new shoe is off... You're back to normal! Yippee... You've been rescued from the curse of the shoe-zombie!!! Now if this is the way to try out new shoes... Then I dont know how to try out a new pair of shorts or jeans. I mean it definitely covers more surface area than the shoe and you're likely to have it on longer. You may take it in places where the shoe is not welcome, You may do things the shoe cant even dream about with it... But then it's just one of those things which should feature in the next episode of Unsolved Mysteries on Discovery Channel!

The salesmen in the shoe store are also quite a character. They want others to feel that they're the ones who rule that space of shoely land.

The first thing is he asks your shoe size. You reply 10. He says I think 9 will fit. I dont know about you but I feel like screaming out... "Excuse me!! These are my feet. I live with them 24X7. I have bought pairs a year since the time I didnt even know why I was wearing shoes!!! The size of my feet hasnt changed for past 8-10 yrs minimum. Unless ofcourse the door of your shop has a foot-shrinker, there is no chance in hell that a size 9 is gonna fit!" But you respect his judgment and silence prevails.

Yet another way to show his supremacy in his kingdom is to talk in a language that's incomprehensible! If you ask him to show you a blue pair of sneakers in size 10. He summons a certain chhotu (there's one in every shop!) and tells him to send a AVITO-74 and APIDO-42.

That's it... He's stumped you big time. I've felt like asking him so many times that is it the same thing both of us were talking about? And till the time chhotu arrives with the boxes it remains a mystery whether you're gonna get what you actually asked for!

Then the mystery parcel arrives and it starts all over again. "Im-ho-tep... Im-ho-tep... Im-ho-tep..."

Cheers!