Tuesday, July 17, 2007

The Swiss Army Knife

I was just going through some stuff in my drawer and I found my Swiss Army Knife! When it was initially purchased, quite a few years back, it was like a prized possession for me. I still do like it very much. It's extremely useful when I have to make a trip/tour/trek or something similar. However till a day before I set off for an excursion it lies silently in my desk drawer.

What is interesting is this... as per the most reliable source in the world (read:Wikipedia), Switzerland has been in a state of neutrality since past almost 200 years. No war for two centuries! Really impressive considering that power hungry, trigger happy, egomaniacs rule every nation in the world. It's not possible to have such a impeccable track record for so long.

In my honest opinion, I believe the swiss army has been rather lucky with this whole neutrality situation! Imagine actually having to fight a war with one of the swiss army knives... Get the picture?

I mean I agree the swiss army might have had some damn good treks and picnics but what use are bottle openers, cork-screws, nail cutters, scissors, tooth picks, screw drivers and things like that in actual war?? What were they thinking while so passionately naming it after their army!

Imagine being attacked on the battlefield by the enemy; what's your plan? Take your tooth pick and try to poke him?? "You can't get past me and my mighty toothpick... And in case you do there are half a dozen guys waiting in that trench to attack you with nail cutters and bottle openers!!" Sun Tzu must be turning in his grave by the mere thought of such an artistic war...

Inspite of complete lack of real battlefield experience, an elite force, part of the Swiss Army, is entrusted with a special responsibility for centuries. The Swiss Guards is the Pope's private security. The Pope may be asking them to fix a loose bolt in his chair or open a bottle of wine or cut a sheet of paper or polish his nails...

That is quite possibly the only point in a soldier's life where he would be using the swiss army knife in the line of duty!

Cheers!

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