Accused #117

I almost couldn't believe myself. Was this really happening? The end of one of the most high-profile cases in Indian judicial history? It did seem a lost cause only on the basis of the number of years this thing has been dragging along... 14 years!

Over the past few days the focus had been shifted from the entire case to just one individual. The media frenzy as usual was quite unnecessary and highly irritating. There were 123 accused in the entire conspiracy. Out of which 100 were found guilty. 12 were sent to the gallows, 17 were given life imprisonment, 4 were awarded 14 years RI. But the spotlight rested on the last group of culprits.

Frankly speaking, Accused #117 held all the aces.

He is not just any other influential personality in Mumbai but a filmstar (Need I say more?). He's the son of a filmstar-turned-politician father and a filmstar mother from a minority community. A truly deadly combo. He had all the right connections. His political party is in power at centre and in the state. His sister is a sitting MP. He certainly was in the favorite lists of all the bhais. So essentially, more than half the police force and almost all politicians come in the trusted circle of friends. The media would've conferred the Bharat Ratna upon him had it been up to them. He had even brought letters of prominent personalities in Mumbai so that the judge would be lenient on him (What is this a sick note??)

I'm myself shocked at the verdict so I can imagine how this misguided orphan must be feeling!

So all of a sudden the stance changes from I-have-full-faith-in-the-law to I-would-appeal-in-the-SC. Surprise! Surprise! It's the judicial version of the same ol' hypocritic funda... The-courts-are-right-as-long-as-the-verdict-is-in-my-favour. Some of the statements he made after being sentenced are so ridiculous that I'm surprised someone could actually come up with those in a court of law. I'm as confident about the SC verdict as the Met department is about their predictions of rainfall in the beginning of monsoon.

The Munnabhai films have further skewed the already distorted image people have about filmstars, in general, and the accused, in particular. The low-point of Indian media (or atleast one of the low-points, since they've scaled quite a few Mariana Trenches lately) has to be the picture of the accused on the front page of almost all leading national newspapers on 2nd October 2006. That was just a film! For all that the filmstars care they can do absolutely anything if they're paid. So quite expectedly the reaction of Bollywood was... ummm... I don't care a damn about it anyways!

Now next few days we'll be subjected to completely useless details about what cell number in Arthur Road jail is Munnabhai staying in. What is the number on his jail uniform. What prison duties does he perform. What does he eat. How are his relations with other jail inmates. How they celebrated Holi, Diwali, Ganesh Chaturthi etc. How often does he take toilet breaks. How long are those toilet breaks etc etc etc...

But what everyone seems to be forgetting is this case was not about accused #117 or the 100 others who have been punished. It was about those 257 people who died on 12th March 1993. It was about those families who lost their loved ones. It was about Mumbai, for once, standing up and saying that we're not here to show you the other cheek. Gandhi-giri looks good only on the big screen. This case should remain a long standing example that if normal Indians get into terrorist activities (I don't care even if God influenced them) will be punished irrespective of who they are. So think twice before aiding such heinous crimes.

And ultimately... This case wasn't about revenge... This case was about justice, which though delayed has not been denied!

Cheers!

P.S.: I have deliberately made use of the terms 'accused #117' or 'the accused' to refer to the person in question since that's all that he really means to me.

Surprise Shower!

After an extended dry spell and after the prediction from the Met dept of the driest July in quite a few years we (quite expectedly) had unexpected showers today evening.

The entire fuss that happens within seconds is just remarkable. All of a sudden there's shock, despair, panic and there's a feeling of catastrophe among people as if they're gonna melt if they come in contact with water. There is a hurry to draw umbrellas and raincoats. Those less fortunate are desperately seeking cover. There's pushing, shoving, swearing. Quite a scene!

But what I dont get is this...

In the dead centre of the month of March across the country people celebrate Holi followed by the worst form of celebrations. The horrendous games of water mixed with anything possible is just strange. As if the genetic proof wasn't enough people actually go out of the way to prove that we have lineage derived from apes! On that day people are ok to get drenched in shit I can't even imagine.

I can still let go of this lunacy under the excuse that it's a festival.

What's even more bizarre is the amount of effort people put in to reach swimming pools or beaches. They spend a fortune on some club membership or organize expensive holidays, spend on strange looking designer outfits specifically for swimming/the beach, buying a collection of lotions and tans and what not. People are actually quite desperate to reach the ocean or some water body. It's almost like a life and death situation!

What kind of hypocrisy is this! Are these same people who're averse to tini-mini water droplets falling on them?? What have the droplets of water done to receive such discriminatory and demeaning reactions?

I presume the reason is that they may contain only water soluble gases like carbon-di-oxide, carbon monoxide, traces of sulphur di oxide, dust particles which are totally unacceptable. They would've been welcome if they were containing chlorine or even the traces of liquid human waste emissions like in swimming pools or some really unidentifiable living and non-living suspensions like in oceans but without that water's gotta be off our skin!!

Well... it's easy to have such utterly senseless thoughts when all you're doing is having that extra cup of tea in the food court just to kill enough time for the rain to subside!

Cheers!

For the Love of the Book!

I was thinking whether I should post this on my other blog but on second thoughts I decided to preserve the other blog for it’s main purpose.

I am really glad Harry Potter happened. The Potter series isn’t the first set of multiple books which created an entire fantasy world or which introduced new words in the English diction. It isn’t the all time great piece of literature either but it did something which many greats would’ve failed to do.

It made reading fashionable!

For quite a few years now various surveys and reports have indicated that 'readership' had been plummeting. Clearly a worrying sign. Having reading as your #1 hobby raised eyebrows. It was one of the two cases… either you were labeled a book-worm, geek, nerd etc with little or no interest in the 'in-things', someone with glasses looking like a schmuck or… well there was no or!

The kind of books which were being written catered to an audience which had matured by reading books or classics. There was a dearth of some fresh books specifically for the ages which are the make-or-break years as far as the reading habit is concerned. And that is the reader class I'm refering to here. Books and characters that grow with the reader was the necessary elixir. The classics were there but they were falling short in competing for an average young reader's time against cartoons, video games, sports, homework etc.

Just like not knowing the lyrics of the latest hit number or about the latest joints in the city or about movies, actors, sports or such other cult activities made you an outcast, now if you don’t know what spell is to be used when Demeantors attack then you’re un-cool.

I have seen my school going cousin discussing books, plots and stories with his friends and that is the Harry Potter effect! Now it's no longer just about those 7 books.

The tide has quite clearly turned. Never before have books been read to 'fit in'. This is a major revolution for which we should be thankful to Potter and Rowling. Though it may just peer pressure to start with, reading habits have once again started becoming a part of life at a stage at which the mind is most impressionable. Hence those readers are going to sustain it throughout their life, with passion and without obligation than someone who hasn’t read much till a later stage in life.

Also, just for the fact that the larger picture of creating more readers and a much more well-read matured, sensible public in the future is being accomplished I have no issues with the media hype, advertising revenues, commercialisation etc.

It's the night before Potter's last book hits the stands... I'm gonna have the most peaceful sleep just thinking that there are thousands lining up outside book stores across the world!

You wont understand the feeling unless you're a book lover!

Cheers!

Flowers

According to me, we (men) couldn't care less about flowers. But flowers are those things that make or break peace on earth. Had it not been for flowers, a relationship would've been like sazaa-e-kaalapaani... Let me be more specific!

An average man doesn't know the difference between orchids, tulips or a chrysanthemum. We have no idea which flower is to be presented when/where and what it means. Ikebana is just another Japanese food item or Chinese clothing. Estimation of the beauty quotient of a bouquet has always been out-of-syllabus.

That's why it's completely out of our reach to actually, be thoughtful, go to the florist and buy an appropriate bouquet. That's because flowers don't interest us. Things would've been drastically different if we were asked to pick CDs\ video games instead of flowers!

I had once heard a speech on different how different types of flowers mean different things, how different colours of the same flower mean different things and how different numbers of the same coloured, same type of flower mean different things. Quite obviously it was given by a girl and that was way too much for someone like me!!

Anyways... that's not the point...

My idea is instead of displaying flowers at the florists shop or pictures on websites, and confusing us, the florist should display just tags. All we have to do is walk into the shop tell the florist our 'offence' and the florist just hands us the 'right' bouquet/flowers.

I forgot our anniversary -- Bouquet 27.
I gave my honest opinion about the cooking -- Bouquet 14.
I cracked an insensitive joke -- Bouquet 21.

This will make life a lot more easier for everyone! It anyways doesn't bother us much what we're carrying in our hands as long as it eases off our 'sentence'. So the next time you see someone with a bouquet in his hand just wish him luck with the review of his petition!

Cheers!

The Swiss Army Knife

I was just going through some stuff in my drawer and I found my Swiss Army Knife! When it was initially purchased, quite a few years back, it was like a prized possession for me. I still do like it very much. It's extremely useful when I have to make a trip/tour/trek or something similar. However till a day before I set off for an excursion it lies silently in my desk drawer.

What is interesting is this... as per the most reliable source in the world (read:Wikipedia), Switzerland has been in a state of neutrality since past almost 200 years. No war for two centuries! Really impressive considering that power hungry, trigger happy, egomaniacs rule every nation in the world. It's not possible to have such a impeccable track record for so long.

In my honest opinion, I believe the swiss army has been rather lucky with this whole neutrality situation! Imagine actually having to fight a war with one of the swiss army knives... Get the picture?

I mean I agree the swiss army might have had some damn good treks and picnics but what use are bottle openers, cork-screws, nail cutters, scissors, tooth picks, screw drivers and things like that in actual war?? What were they thinking while so passionately naming it after their army!

Imagine being attacked on the battlefield by the enemy; what's your plan? Take your tooth pick and try to poke him?? "You can't get past me and my mighty toothpick... And in case you do there are half a dozen guys waiting in that trench to attack you with nail cutters and bottle openers!!" Sun Tzu must be turning in his grave by the mere thought of such an artistic war...

Inspite of complete lack of real battlefield experience, an elite force, part of the Swiss Army, is entrusted with a special responsibility for centuries. The Swiss Guards is the Pope's private security. The Pope may be asking them to fix a loose bolt in his chair or open a bottle of wine or cut a sheet of paper or polish his nails...

That is quite possibly the only point in a soldier's life where he would be using the swiss army knife in the line of duty!

Cheers!

Conversation on a Cookery Show

This is a real incident that happened live on the television.

The Setting: One of the many cookery shows being telecast on television. An 'expert' chef and a sub-25 dim-wit chick (DWC).

The Recipe: Some cake.

The Plot: It's a custom to have conversations with the expert chef and as is expected from the anchor keep asking intelligent questions which may arise in the minds of the viewers so as to clarify the recipe.

The Knockout:
.
.
.
Chef: Now add 2 table spoons of soda (powder) to it and mix well.
DWC: Is that Baking Soda?

I was floored by this absolute snorter of a question... I just have so many different comments, so many many remarks to make on this from different point of views that I find it difficult to pick one...

So in the words of one of my dear friend... Mera dil kuch aur keh raha hai... Mera dimaag kuch aur keh raha hai... No Comments!

Cheers!

Evolution

Do animals want/like to go to a circus? I'm really curious to know the answer. I've never had a pet or any inclination to have one, fondle one, talk to one or have anything to do with any animal but I know a lot of people who love pets and I would like them to answer this if possible. In my knowledge & extensive(?) research on this topic, the answer is an emphatic NO!

So basically humans are the only species who like to watch their own species. It's really strange. People (me included) like to watch other people and actually pay to see other people do artificial things (Dont get wrong ideas, I'm talking about movies!). We know what they're doing is not true. We had seen the weird looking guy playing a geologist in this movie trying to save the world from annihilation as a dim-wit magician last week. But we believe it!

We know that in a while all this is going to stop and we'll be going back home with a numb brain and a light pocket but still we do this particular act over and over again. Watching movies or plays is really taxing on our brains with all this imagining, assuming, understanding involved. People who watch movies with such a high level of involvement can probably have a discourse on astro-physics or the string theory if they put their mind to it. It involves the same things imagination, assumptions, understanding! Though I really love watching plays and movies (in that order) but this entire action baffles me at times...

The urge to watch other people (read:movies) is quite clearly a social phenomena. Other social activities include communicating, forming clans/groups, networking, coordinating, cooperating, friendship, enemity etc etc... But we actually see these in most animals and even more primitive life forms!

We're so interested in this particular medium that we forget about our life for that period of time. We actually and purposefully disjoin ourselves from reality. And this is entire action is termed under entertainment.

So basically... a few million years of evolution and all we could manage was the ability to entertain ourselves at the expense of our own species! Now isn't that something to be really proud of?

So the whole foundation of the human race is based on a singular paramount entity... Boredom! Now does that explain why the second highest activity you do during an average day (next only to breathing) is getting bored...

Cheers!

My Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man

Spider-Man has been the only superhero I’ve ever adored, admired, looked upto... everything!

Our first meeting must have been circa summer of ’86. And then there was no equal! I don’t even consider the rest of the superheroes in the same category as Spider-Man. The masked menace is well and truly a class apart. And kindly do not picturise Tobey Macguire or relate what I’ve written to the movies. Though the movies are a decent representation of the real Spider-Man, comic books is the real real stuff and that's what I have in mind while writing this.

Spider-Man is probably the only one who has a personality and a mind of his own even in comic books. The number of “thought bubbles” in any Spider-Man comic beat any other comic hands down. He thinks, he reflects and that’s what sets him apart. He isn’t invincible or near-invincible, or have flashy gadgets or have some secret weapon to transform himself. It's just a suit he pulls on himself and we're ready to rock-n-roll.

Spider-Man doesn’t lose his sense of humour and jest even when he's in some serious trouble. Some of the one-liners are just awesome. He doesn't seem to have a stiff upper lip or some notion that he's to be a role model. He's after all just a common guy who's doing his bit to help others.

He’s a lone ranger who relies on his genius, on his gift, on out-thinking the villain rather than beating them by sheer force. He isn’t someone who likes to make an entrance or go in for confrontation but more likely to use a red herring. Not exactly the qualitites that make a great superhero!

The best part of Spider-Man is Peter Parker. The young man behind the mask who’s a science freak but undergoes transformation which he believes is the cure for all problems in his life. He’s wrong. It complicates his life to an extent that it becomes unmanageable. He has powers to accomplish things that he had never dreamt before but still his struggle continues. This is the reality that no other superhero seems to be depicting. They may have the greatest of powers but they're ultimately just as human as you and me!

He doesn’t mind crossing over to the dark-side which I felt was a really interesting part of the series. It showed a whole new side to the till-then good boy next door. I must confess that for a while I even loved him that way but then... that wasn't the 'right' way!

The fact that despite being a superhero and having the ability to have anything he wants, he’s not-so-successful in aspects of his personal life. He has trouble with his boss, never seems to get things right with the girls but does miraculously well in academics and ofcourse crime-fighting! That ironically makes him by far the most realistic superhero. He actually has two distinct sections in his life which keep over-lapping and causing trouble to him.

When I read a Spider-Man comic, the what-the-hell syndrome never sets in. I actually do relate to things that he goes through. There is a certain connect which Spider-Man has with his readers. It's not just wham-bam-bam but a lot more to to know/learn about him as a person.

Spider-Man has probably the most conflicting persona imperfect in many ways. But for me, it's these imperfections that seem to result into the perfect superhero... My friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man!

Cheers!

Seedless Oranges

It's really amazing what research goes on in the world.

Recently I read an article in the newspaper about work being done to develop seedless oranges. I have no issues with what people work on. I mean they don't comment on how I'm wasting my life so why should I bother! But I couldn't help myself thinking about this one.

As per my understanding research is done so that some time in a near or distant future it would be of practical use to mankind at large. No matter if the research is in the field of face recognition or developing safer cars. Practical use should ideally be the aim of any research. Though some in the past have bordered on the boundaries of insanity and complete foolishness, case in point alchemy but still it was for practical use.

There are thousands working for cure on AIDS, vaccince for cancer, safer pesticides, higher nutrients in food etc etc. These are things that trouble and bother people. These things are going to make a significant difference in the existence of human race! It's obvious that what drives any form of research in it's true form is something personal. If a close friend is diagnosed by a disease then there is in general a feeling to do something about it or if you're really good at something you want others to reap the benefit of your knowledge and thank you each time they make use of your innovation.

But what obviously bothers some is those seeds in the oranges. I appreciate how troublesome they can be. I mean they're bitter if you chew them and that spoils the taste of the orange. So you have to be wide awake while eating an orange and spit them off. If they fall on the floor it takes some skill or good nails to lift them and dispose them off. As you can see the effects of having the seeds in the oranges are so catastrophic that nobody had attempted to waste their time over it for past god knows how many years! But not any longer... Seed-haters your prayers have been answered...

I got just one question... A serious doubt! What do you sow in order to get seedless oranges?

Cheers!

Waste Harvesting

I was lucky to be a witness to an innovation at work.

Today I saw a corporation garbage truck collecting trash from the (originally) yellow coloured public trash cans which are essentially a pointer indicating 'Dispose off your waste somewhere in this vicinity, not necessarily into the trash can'. There's an environment of it's own in and around these fragrant locations.

Anyways, I did not spot the truck at once. I just spotted a trail of some unrecognisable filth similar to the water trails left behind by water tankers. I caught a glimpse of this trail somewhere near a chowk and since (luckily) I was following going by the same route I ultimately spotted the 'animal' which was responsible for this. It had been halted by the side of the road near a trash can and was doing it's stuff. I don't need to reiterate the condition of this leaky truck!

My mind went back to a similar trail I had come across a few months back. It was however of soil and a few random leaves left behind by a truck which was planting trees along a road. A good job to aid in decoration of the roads and rain water harvesting! It was doing it's bit to change the composition of air.

Then I realised this must be a new project by the corporation. Another (more successful) effort to beautify the road, also try and change the composition of air.

I bet they call this Waste-Harvesting!

Cheers!

The Zombies of Shoe-Ville

With the onset of monsoon I decided go in for a make-shift arrangement to save my hush-puppies from being drowned to death. So after quite a few postponements I found myself in the Bata showroom.

Bata belongs to that elite group of companies which have been in India for so long that people would be stunned to know that it's a Swiss company. Anyways... back to the main plot!

I was having a look at the floaters/rainy shoes on display and there were 2-3 other customers in the shop. They were trying out leather shoes, sneakers etc. I noticed this really strange transformation in people when they're trying out a pair of shoes. This is really spooky but I was quite amused at the whole scene that goes on, not just in the case of those particular customers but most of us, when we're trying out shoes.

Once a new pair of shoes is put on, it's like some supernatural force has taken you over. You become stiff and have a different kind of a look in their eye. You walk around the store concentrating on the steps you take more than anything else. The attention span towards the shoes/footsteps in those 5 minutes beats the combined attention span from the time you've paid for them to the time you discard them! The way people walk is it's just the way those zombies walk in horror flicks. The distribution of weight on the legs is, forget normal, just freakish!

Think about the last time you've tried shoes... Now you know what I mean!

I almost imagined the guy blurting out... "Im-ho-tep... Im-ho-tep..." a la The Mummy. And once the new shoe is off... You're back to normal! Yippee... You've been rescued from the curse of the shoe-zombie!!! Now if this is the way to try out new shoes... Then I dont know how to try out a new pair of shorts or jeans. I mean it definitely covers more surface area than the shoe and you're likely to have it on longer. You may take it in places where the shoe is not welcome, You may do things the shoe cant even dream about with it... But then it's just one of those things which should feature in the next episode of Unsolved Mysteries on Discovery Channel!

The salesmen in the shoe store are also quite a character. They want others to feel that they're the ones who rule that space of shoely land.

The first thing is he asks your shoe size. You reply 10. He says I think 9 will fit. I dont know about you but I feel like screaming out... "Excuse me!! These are my feet. I live with them 24X7. I have bought pairs a year since the time I didnt even know why I was wearing shoes!!! The size of my feet hasnt changed for past 8-10 yrs minimum. Unless ofcourse the door of your shop has a foot-shrinker, there is no chance in hell that a size 9 is gonna fit!" But you respect his judgment and silence prevails.

Yet another way to show his supremacy in his kingdom is to talk in a language that's incomprehensible! If you ask him to show you a blue pair of sneakers in size 10. He summons a certain chhotu (there's one in every shop!) and tells him to send a AVITO-74 and APIDO-42.

That's it... He's stumped you big time. I've felt like asking him so many times that is it the same thing both of us were talking about? And till the time chhotu arrives with the boxes it remains a mystery whether you're gonna get what you actually asked for!

Then the mystery parcel arrives and it starts all over again. "Im-ho-tep... Im-ho-tep... Im-ho-tep..."

Cheers!

Superheroes

The basic & foremost reason for anything to do with some fictional 'thing' (I can’t term that clan as human/man/woman or anything else) with gaudy ridiculous costumes, usually a masquerade, some unbelievably out-of-the-world powers is that every man associates himself with a character. As kids, we’re introduced to Batman, Superman, Spider-Man, He-Man and the entire army of all these weirdos! These are not superheroes. These are options! You can pick who you want to be depending on your personal likes and dislikes. No restrictions. That’s the reason that there are so many of them.

But as the kid grows into a man he realizes that he cannot be Superman or Batman or whatever was his pseudo-identity. But somewhere in his mind, he still remains a Superhero. No matter how mundane, sedentary, low-life creature he may be in reality, he still is the hero in his world. In that world he doesn’t care a damn what other’s opinion is about him. He needs this kind of ego-boost for survival. That’s precisely the reason why every superhero movie/character/comic, no matter how ridiculous and unbelievable it may be, always has an unusually cult-like following. Those people are not his fans, they are those who believe they’re him or would like to be him!

Think about yourself for that matter; If not, look around!

Let’s just think about this whole superhero business in rational terms. Imagine a man or woman (being politically correct) wearing his underwear on top of his latex or carbon-fiber or whatever that material is. It’s just too tight firstly. Secondly, it’s in really embarrassing colors. I cannot imagine many people other than truly Govinda-typers wearing Cobalt Blue tights or similar ones.

It’s ok to see these theatrics in a 20-minute animation film or even a 2-hour movie. Trust me… It’ll really be a menace 24X7. We have enough trouble controlling ego-centric maniacal super-idiotic humans aka Movie Stars. Give me a break… We would really not welcome such weirdos into society. They’ll at the best do a good job as comedians!

But life would surely be incomplete without them. I speak for myself atleast! No matter how stupid/funny they might appear to a rational mind, no matter that they’re defying every principle of evolution. They’re meant for that world within our minds where anything goes, where we’re not meant to lead our routine life.

Some people admire/emulate/believe in great poets, painters, writers, musicians, thinkers, magicians. May be movie stars, dictators et all could interest others.

People like me, well... we admire superheroes! The great tasks, the inspire-faith-into-the-weak-and-fear-into-the-evil gig, the secret identity, the mystique, the thrills, the double-life, the superpowers, the entire works...

Sometimes I just love to give my rationality a well deserved break!

Cheers!