I wonder why...

I visited the neighbourhood ATM today evening. I find a receipt sticking out of the slot which spits out the withdrawal receipts. This was how it read like.. kind of.

WITHDRAWAL : Rs. 100

REMAINING BALANCE: Rs. 2,29,146

The withdrawal was made from a non-ICICI bank account. That was because the output print format was different from ICICI accounts.

Now what could the possible reasons be for someone who had 2.29L in his account to withdraw just 100 bucks and be in such tremendous rush that he couldn't wait or forgot to collect the receipt.

A very plausible explanation is that he fell short by a very short amount to pay someone who couldn't wait for long. That amount in my opinion would be much lesser than Rs. 100. And though the fact that he had 2.29L in his account had nothing to do how much he'll have in his wallet but it does tell us that he must be having a reasonable income to maintain this amount. It could be payment for the auto rickshaw fare or to a fruit/ vegetable vendor or someone who couldn't accept plastic money!

Another thing worth pondering is to why didn't he withdraw a higher amount which would take care of his future expenses too. For all I know all this could be just a show off thing. I mean just to make the next innocent withdrawer from the ATM wonder about it or leave him awestruck.

Extremely uniquely & very very strange.

Cheers!

Canine Attack!

Here's something you don't have happen to you every day.

I was driving home minding my own business a couple of days back, when the window to the car in front of me opens. Some sort of giant dog sticks his head out the window. I laugh, because the dog is monstrous. Like a Marmaduke kind of dog, except being a real dog he was much funnier than the one depicted in the comic strip. It keeps shaking it's head from left to right, I presume from staring at the lines on the road or the vehicles or something. Frankly, Who cares!

Everything is fine for a bit, and then I suddenly realize that my windshield is being pelted by something. Big gobs of something foamy and wet. This giant dog is foaming at the mouth, slobbering, whatever you want to call it -- and it is whipping backwards from the dog to my windshield. I couldn't believe my luck.

I made a split-second decision to turn on the wipers -- which, in retrospect, was the absolute worst thing I could have done. The wipers proceeded to smear dog lugie from one end of my windshield to another. And soon it turned into a piece of art across the windshield. It even dried out in the wind. It was a pretty site. To top it off, I was completely out of the windshield cleaning water. So I had to drive all the way home peering through dog lugie. Some of it was even on the bonnet & the side view mirror. Good times are here to stay!

Cheers!

You've gotta be kidding!

Like most of you I receive a lot of spam and really something should be done on the lines of the National Do Not Call Registry for telemarketers. Though I tend to ignore most spam but then there are some which scream out for your attention!

I received this unsolicited e-mail today. Since they saw fit to spam me, I see fit to ridicule them. This is a real certification, offered by a real IT security training company. They obviously did not consult with a PR firm or ad agency before coming up with their name for this certification. I am pretty sure that even if I had earned this cert I would not put it on my resume, unless I was looking for a job in the... entertainment industry!

Cheers!

Spider-Man... Me too!

A few days back in this post here I had blogged about the whole deal with this superhero business and in this post I had blogged about my favourite superhero, Spider-Man!

Now, I came across something here on the Discovery Channel website that has really got me all excited. Someone actually has done some research in designing the 'Spidey Suit' and though it's not possible to inculcate the superhuman qualities of the masked menace; It's definitely possible to have the suit made.

Ahem... I'm being tempted!

Cheers!

Destined to Fail

NCERT has recommended to ban the word 'fail' from school life. Read about it here.

As usual NCERT seems to be attempting to cure the symptoms rather than the problem. Instead of banning the use of the term ‘fail’ they should try and improve the overall conditions so that students don’t fall in that category. An improvement in the basic educational facilities for starters, better reach of the primary school system, improved syllabus, even something as primary as no spelling mistakes in text books can make a huge difference, improvement in the standard to teachers, improvement in the pay scales for teachers.

If students are not psychologically strong to handle the word ‘failure’ then they need some medical help because this isn’t the first or the last time they’re going to encounter it. The parents need to be educated to act as better support systems if need be. But banning this term is definitely not the solution to the problem they’re trying to address. The student instead of failing to clear his class would be repeating his class or would be proud that he's got an F grade!

An academically poor student will remain poor no matter what flowery terms NCERT uses. They’ve also suggested doing away with time limits for exams. Now through my experience of writing numerous exams from the time I was 4, I can confidently say that the time they allot for exams is enough to solve the paper if you know your stuff. If you don’t know what the hell the exam is all about then there’s really nothing that an added time can do. Extra time is only going to aid in copying and other examination malpractices which the NCERT has conveniently ignored over the years.

We, Indians anyways are not punctual. We don’t give much importance to deadlines, honour appointments but this would be legitimizing it in the worst way possible and inculcating that habit in the children right from the age of 10!

I completely understand giving extra time to students with physical disabilities or certain learning problems. That is the time they need to come at par with normal children. But children who do not study for exams deserve to do badly and deserve to fail.

Also, they’re planning to implement the ‘No Child Left Behind’ educational program like in the US. The US is having it’s fair share of problems with this program but that hasn’t stopped us from considering this path.

This is now an even hostile territory I’m entering. I just feel that in an attempt to ensure that all children pass we shouldn’t take down the national average. Instead of taking the benchmark lower in order to ensure that everyone passes how about raising them to the passing level? We have a good setup, which is making rest of the world play catch up but we need good implementation.

We do desperately need an improvement in the graduate and post graduate studies program but that can wait or atleast can afford to go on the slow track. But the basic educational facilities and primary schools program needs better implementation and reach.

We got more than enough of children in our country. We need intelligent Indians to drive the nation but going down this road we're destined to fail.

Cheers!

The Foodie

I went out for dinner the other day. A really sumptuous multi-course meal I might add. The bill arrived at the end of the dinner and it was as usual the hardest time for me. I believe they should bill us and collect the money as soon as we order, the McDonalds way. That way it's much more easier and willingly paid meal.

Till the time you're hungry and need to eat you're like George Bush hunting for Osama. I don't care about the price. I dont care if they over price me, if they cheat me. I just want maximum possible food in minimum possible time! That is quite clearly the attitude with which we're hunting down food.

We're so obsessed with food that one of the things that we hate is waiting for food. And the waiting time is directly proportional to how hungry you really are and inversely proportional to the time you have for lunch!
But once you're through with that assault it's an entirely new story altogether. You almost have an attack of selective amnesia and forget anything about ever being hungry. So if the guy in the table next to you orders something, you actually wonder how the hell can people eat so much!!

So... I-can-eat-a-human-alive to complete despise for any food in 20 mins flat!

You're full. No more space for even your favourite dish and are in a really great mood thanks to the food... and then comes the bill. Talk about anti-climax! Everyone is so flummoxed by this calamity that they actually start passing it around... unless ofcourse you're drunk which means there are quite a few guys desperate to show how gracious they are inspite of a complete absence of girls!

I had even come across some formula which was devised by some MIT graduate to predict the chances of an individual having to pay for food depending on the number people at the table and how to split up the bill in case everyone has had a different item on the menu of varying price ranges and some such stuff. This categorically proves that some people dont have much to do even at MIT and to lead a pointless, worthless existence has nothing to do with education!

Anyways... People do strange things when the food is free. Marriages, project parties, treats, etc etc... But the pinnacle of gluttony was achieved by one of my acquaintances who kept having meals every 2 hours on a flight journey half way across the world since his flight was hopping/ with stop overs. So he had something like 2 lunches, 3 dinners and other tit-bits during the course of his journey. Now that is improessive!

Cheers!

The Bridge of Faith

There are always two sides of any argument. It happens to me quite often that I do see a valid point in both sides of an argument. But then there are some arguments which are just in a class of their own. On listening to one side of the argument, I think to myself, now anything that the other side says can beat this ridiculous point. But then like on numerous other occasions I clearly underestimate human stupidity and the other side actually comes up with something that leaves me aghast and very much bemused!

The latest in line in the controversy over Ram's Setu. Well... if it doesn't interest you don't bother to read further.

My thoughts on the topic (Not in any particular order):

• It doesn't make such a big deal if we have to modify a structure created by anyone in the past (God included). If you're a believer then the whole world was created by God not just the bridge so we shouldn't be doing anything anywhere!
• Environmental factors have to given priority over convenience. I don't think it's a huge loss to the nation, which is losing a lot more in many other avoidable things, to circumnavigate Sri Lanka. It's not the same as the Panama Canal scenario with the US ships. Has a check been done from an environmental standpoint? Will it be worth 2500 crore?
• The bridge itself which was actually a walkable piece of land connecting the two countries as late as the 15th century should be preserved as far as possible. The reason is not that it's been built by Lord Ram but because it's quite clearly a wonder and the geographical formations in and around that area are unique. So the ocean canal should be constructed ensuring minimum possible modification.
• Why is the Indian government not considering some 6 other routes suggested for the canal? What is the adamant stand on the canal going through Ram's Setu all about? Is it now just a prestige issue?
• If the construction of the canal is okay from all points of view then the general public must be explained the facts, it's importance, precautions being taken etc etc...
• The people's faith in anything should not be questioned. Let it be God, existence of super human beings or even themselves. It's a question of faith and no one has the right to decide it for some other individual. It should not be subjected to an acid test. Why stop at Lord Ram then? There are such miracle figures in literature of every religion in the world. Should all of that be subjected to scientific evidence and proofs?
• It's wrong to term those who reacted on the govt's statement challenging the existence of Ram himself as Hindu Fundamentalists. It's a very natural reaction which would've been evoked from any believer of any religion. How about questioning the conception of Jesus to the Virgin Mary? In order to prove the modern mindset and all it's not necessary to criticize those who believe or have faith in God. No one is forcing it on anyone so if you dont believe it... Take a walk!
• I do believe that a rational, God believing, Hindu would understand the explanation furnished for the project but, quite naturally, cannot tolerate his faith being questioned/ ridiculed/ put to test. That is exactly the case at the moment but no one seems to putting any thought in approaching the problem with the right mindset.
• This is my version of Ramayan's occurence. I believe Ram did exist. He wasn't heralded as God during his times. He was just a great king who went thorugh the incidents depicted in the Ramayan. The story over the years became an epic and a lot of things may have been added into it like in a game of Chinese whispers. The existence of such a being is a very plausible possibility, as is the occurence of Mahabharat. Again, Krishna may not have been termed as God during his time but over the years these figures achieved the God-ly status.

Cheers!

And now it's official...

According to a recent research, in choosing a partner, beauty is the key ingredient for men while women, the much choosier of the sexes, leverage their looks for security and commitment. Surprise! Surprise!

It's really a tough deal. All women have to do is look good which is, trust me, easier than all the stunts men have to go through. Men have very little to fall back on and have to spend most their lives proving to women that they're good enough. Women really exploit all their power very well and frankly speaking do very little proving... Hypocrisy!

Throughout history men have had to do some really ridiculous and dumb things to win over women. I mean can anyone explain me the need to break Lord Ram to break Shiva's bow? or for Arjun to hit the eye of the fish looking at it's reflection to win Draupadi? What kind of a match making service was that!

Emperors winning battles and sacrificing tens and thousands of people to impress their woman is probably the worst kind of marriage proposal I can imagine. I just killed 12 tigers, 2 elephants and wrestled a 400 pound monster... Will you marry me??

I believe that some or all of these quite disturbing activities prove that the man could provide security and was ready for commitment. That's my conclusion not my opinion. I dont know how breaking bows, killing tigers, winning battles equates for matrimonial eligibility! And the more beautiful the lady, the harsher the punishment... I mean the tasks to be accomplished.

Nowadays we're down to more reasonable demands. Single child, dead parents preferably, inherited wealth, party animal, having nice degrees to hang in the living room (brains are added bonus), green card etc. The list is endless but not as tough as killing animals etc. So on behalf of all men, Thank you, Ladies!

However the misery doesn't end here... Lets go back to when Lord Ram was in exile. Sita had appealed to kill a golden deer which she saw as she wanted to, I'm just guessing, stitch some stuff out of it's skin. Which also tells us Sita was really hooked up on the designer chic clothing despite being in exiled. Much hasn't changed since then. Anyways... But as expected Lord Ram went after that deer haplessly.

He may be an incarnation of God but he was first a husband at that time. And no matter how ridiculous the demand seemed to a rational mind he set forth to hunt down the deer and get it for wifey dear! In that one action he proves that he was no mere mortal. I mean... golden deer skinned top? What was she thinking?!

Every guy I know, me included, would have spent the next half an hour arguing the need for a deer skinned top, would've spent the next 2 days gifting stupid stuff just to make her normal again and the rest of the life listening to taunts that You-never-do-anything-for-me!

We all know what happened next. His wife was abducted. He had to befriend monkeys. He had to invade some innocent island folk. He had to travel a distance of some thousand kilometres. Talk about punishment! He was really up against it both ways. That was what happened to Him, in an era when Sita actually went into exile with Ram.

So extrapolating it to fit in today's scenario... Scary stuff! It's not easy being a man...

Cheers!

A Long Lost Indian

I heard this on TV today and tried to search the net for a detailed report regarding this incident which would actually provide some authencity. I have no faith in the tabloid journalistic style of the Indian media. I didn't get any concrete news piece on this but I would still go ahead and post it with this disclaimer!

Apparently there's some thief by the name Peter Edison who takes pride in his art. He stole from a department store and painted the line 'Peter Edison was here' on the nearby wall or floor or something like that. I know pretty dumb for a thief but supposedly he did it. May be he was inspired by some Hollywood flick.

As expected the police picked him up in under an hour and at that time he was wearing one of the T-shirt he had stolen some time back. Doesn't sound like a very skilled thief... or anyone with any considerable brains either. Anyways...

My hypothesis is, assuming this story is some what true, this guy's name wasn't really Peter Edison. Even if he was Peter Edison, he was in all probabilities some long lost Indian. It was really a no-brainer!

Are you still wondering how I came to this conclusion?

I really really dont know any other country where people have the hobby of engraving 'Raju loves Pammi' messages wherever they go.

Cheers!

Baywatch!

An (oversized) gujju lady decided to have a swim in the pool, in my residential complex, last weekend. She had apparently enrolled for swimming classes 3 months back. We came to know about this later. As she had enrolled for classes that long ago, she expected to be quite proficient in swimming. Information regarding how many days out of the three months did she actually attend the classes was withheld from the public.

So she dived into the deep end of the pool with a big splash I might add. Quite comically, she couldn't swim, started drowning and quite badly. So the trainer cum lifeguard who was teaching 7 year olds in the shallow pool did the next logical thing which was also his job.

He rescued the damsel in distress and she was brought ashore. By this time a considerably large crowd consisting of mothers of the 7 year olds learning to swim, oldies who come for a stroll in the park nearby, other swimmers, kids playing in the activity room nearby had gathered. All were quite shocked at what had happened but were also happy that the lifeguard was around to save the day and the 90 kg sack.

The woman who had almost lost her consciousness comes true and everyone's enquiring if she was alright.

The first line she says, to the lifeguard... "Haath kyon lagaya???!!!"

Ouch! All that you see on TV is not true...

Cheers!