Showing posts with label Incidents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Incidents. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

I believe I can fly...

So I'm on a plane, we left late. Pilot says we're going to be making up sometime in the air. I thought, well isn't that interesting. We'll just make up time. That's why you have to reset your watch when you land. Of course, when they say they're making up time, obviously they're increasing the speed of the aircraft. Now, my question is if you can go faster, why don't you just go as fast as you can all the time? C'mon, there's no cops up here, nail it. Give it some gas! We're flying!

The reason why my flight was delayed was that they were not able to shut the door of the aircraft. Well... that sounds like some pretty serious screw-up, especially if you consider the same aircraft had landed from another destination 10 mins back and was there for less than half an hour halt! What happened in those 10 mins? A door which was perfectly okay to stand the test at 31000 feet now seems to have failed at ground level! Interesting...

I wonder if there are keys to the plane? Do they need keys to start the plane? Maybe that's what those delays on the ground are sometimes. When you're just sitting there at the gate, maybe the pilot's just up there in the cockpit going "Oh, I don't believe this. Oh my god... I did it again." They tell you it's something mechanical, because they don't want to come on the PA system, "Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to be delayed here on the ground for a little while, I uh...Oh God, this is so embarrassing...I - I left the keys to the plane in my apartment." You see the technicians all running underneath the plane; you think they're servicing it, but they're actually looking for the magnet "hide-a-key" under the wing..."maybe he left it up there somewhere..."

Do you think that the people at the airport that run the stores have any idea what the prices are every place else in the world? Or do you think they just feel they have their own little country out there and they can charge anything they want? Now because of the "you-cant-carry-liquids" rule almost everyone is forced to buy water or water equivalent after the security check. The price of water makes feeling thirsty was a crime! You don't like it; go back to your own country. I think the whole airport airline complex is a huge scam just to sell the bottled water. I think that profit is what's supporting the whole air travel industry. I mean think about it; the terminals,the airplanes, it's all just a distraction so that you don't notice the beating that you're taking on the bottled water.

The seat which I got on the flight was, not unexpectedly, next to a guy who most definitely had a fish hook caught in his throat. For a solid 2 hours, he kept making that hauwking sound that you normally associate with the act of chucking up a big loogie, but - and here's the mystery - that's as far as he went.I can only pray that he was coming up dry, because the alternative is not something I wish to contemplate. The other wonderful thing about this flight was the 60-year old steward who somehow managed to be extremely chipper and upbeat at 4:30am. I wanted to kill him. He was clearly at the very pinnacle of a 2-case Red Bull bender. He was cracking extremely corny jokes to an audience of stone-faced killers (i.e., us).

He didn't understand that the reason nobody laughed is because
(a) he wasn't very funny,
(b) Hello? It was 4:30 am, and
(c) everyone on board was trying to figure out a way to shove his cheerful, shiny little head out one of those little round windows without depressurizing the cabin.

Here's an example: "As long as we're moving on the ground, you'll want to keep your seat belts fastened. While the guys up front are excellent pilots, I'm not sure how good they are at driving." "If you do leave something on the plane that is extremely valuable, don't worry. I'll turn it in for you. You can pick it up at Rico's Pawn shop, on the corner of West Avenue and Madison." You almost expected him to say, "Thank you. Thank you very much. I'm here all week, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitresses."

He made my bone marrow hurt. Perhaps it would have been mildy amusing if I had been wide awake and in a good mood, but when you're working on 4 hours sleep, no coffee and no breakfast it gets old really, really fast. Also keep in mind that I gave you his BEST material.

This was not exactly the end I was hoping for one of the best outings I had for a really long time but then I did need something to get me back to reality! Sigh... The vacation's over...

Cheers!

Monday, December 24, 2007

Bulk Purchase

In a Pani-Puri manufacturing facility which also had a retail outlet.

Lady: What is the cost of Pani Puris?
Seller: $5 per bag of 50 Puris.
Lady: What if I buy in bulk?
Seller: The rate stays the same.
Lady: What if I buy 100 Puris.
Seller: We'll give you two bags.
Lady: I'll need to make a call in that case.

Comments:
This may be a "you-have-to-be-there-to-understand" type of humour. So some of you wont find this that amusing.

Those who were fortunate enough to witness this incident were in splits with the stone faced reply the seller gave to the 100-Puri query. First of all 100 is not bulk for someone whose a manufacturer-retailer. But the effectiveness of the answer could be seen at the way the woman was stunned at that reply.

And I'm not sure why she had to tell the seller that she had to make a call. I understand she wanted some sort of a "go-ahead" from someone who had asked her to get the Puris, if they were above a certain limit. But she made it sound like a threat! Something like... Now you're going to be in trouble!!

Our purchase was done and had to leave the scene, but I would've loved to see the end of this conversation!

Cheers!

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Coffee Break!

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A conversation between my friend, X and Me.
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Me: Probably it would be better if you try Starbucks next time!
X: May be I will... That is a good place! I've always had this soft corner for them. But that's not the point... This is unacceptable. What would you have done in such a situation?
Me: Do you even understand the situation? It would've been easy to accept the final outcome with any other, any god damn reasoning but this beats me. I'm speechless... You know what, may be that was just a code of some sort. Inspired by some spy story. They say activity A but it really means performing activity B.
X: I don't think there's much of a code left once you've said activity A and performed it as well... We did have a little bit of activity B but then this overshadows everything!
Me: Well... Happens! Want some coffee?

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15 minutes earlier

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Me: What's wrong? You're looking awful!
X: Ah! forget it... Nothing great.
Me: I don't think so... What happened?
X: It's complicated.
Me: That's even better, man! I would love to hear it then.
X: Give me something to eat... I need a change of taste!! My taste buds have been tortured to death some time back...
Me: Ah!

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15 minutes earlier
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X: I don't think we should see each other any more.

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15 minutes earlier
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Y: You want coffee? I'll make it!
X: Sure! You know where the kitchen is?

Coffee arrives & X takes the first sip.

X: (Thinking) Yikes!! What the hell is this??!! This is the the the worst coffee of all time. This is just coffee beans and boiling water. May be I should ask if she mixed up the recipes for an Ayurvedic cough syrup & coffee. I can drink the worst tasting drinks in this world but today we've a new and undisputed champion! Oh boy! Are we in trouble now... I wish she goes some out of the room, I can just pour this somewhere. I cannot be with a girl who makes this bad coffee. I'll probably be found dead some day and the cause of death would be caffeine poisoning... No chance of drinking this coffee again!

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A true story!
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Cheers!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

National Pride

Today I came met a Slovak cab driver who could speak Hindi...

He could say:
  1. Namaashtey
  2. Dhaaniyawaad
  3. Aap khaishey ho?
Ironically my South Indian colleague didn't get a word of the courteous warmth the cab driver was trying to exude. But then again... that's 5 more words of Hindi than my colleague can understand!

So much for national pride...

Saturday, November 24, 2007

The Tipping Point

It just wasn't possible to continue that way... The object of my obsession and me were meant to be together.

This attaraction has been going on for months actually but I upgraded the rating to "obsession" only a few days back. But then as expected there was that usual dilemma involved. Should I, Shouldn't I? It may not be as complex as a NP-complete problem. Though that was how it seemd to me and I'm pretty sure I was making a big deal out of it. That seems to me like the most likely explanation.

But after days of pondering over it and waiting for the hypothetical "right" moment, I decided to do something which would've given me much needed peace of mind days ago. But then better late than never.

It's actually just part of a cycle. Only when my obsession overcame my reason was I well and truly able to give in to what I really wanted to do. Once I had decided my path I was actually looking forward to it. I wouldn't have enjoyed it if I would've given in before this threshold limit.

That's precisely the tipping point!

And then it arrived yesterday, my very own Xbox 360...

Cheers!

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Stumped!


1. I don't know what meat milk is.
2. I don't want to know what meat milk is.
3. Having "no hormones" really does not make it sound any more enticing.
4. I would have thought that anything containing a mixture of meat and milk would pretty much have to be organic, but apparently I know nothing. I guess up until now, people have been drinking inorganic meat milk with hormones added because they didn't know any better.
5. A well-placed ampersand would make this sign so much less disturbing.
Cheers!

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Time to get Smart!

I cant imagine to what lengths over-zealous marketers can go to sell their products. I was at the convenience store last weekend and I found myself in the deodorant, anti-perspirant, perfume section. I do understand the problem that these guys must be facing in trying to differentiate their product out of around 500-odd of the similar type. But some offences are inexcusable!

I saw this Adidas deo which had something rather blasphemous written on it which seriously seriously bemused me.

It said "Smart ™ Technology -- Developed with Athletes"

First of all, I'm not exactly sure the no-stink stick can be smart. From what I can tell, it really has very little in the way of intelligence. It can't even automatically roll itself up a little bit when one is scraping armpit skin off on its hard plastic sides. And to add to the misery they actually have trademarked the word "smart?" I don't think many companies would risk being so intelligent anyways!

The bigger problem, of course, is that if some scientists set off to develop "smart technology" I would think one of the last groups of people they would go to would be athletes. Granted, they're probably better off going to athletes instead of actors, umm.... musicians maybe. But still -- As a whole, athletes are not generally known for their scientific prowess.

How would that development actually happen? Isn't it too much to expect? I bet this smart™ thing must've not even been able to get a single school kid to try out their ground breaking technology without paying them. So you can imagine what must be the case with pro-footballers or basketball players!

Unless ofcourse they got chess players to test it out... But I cant imagine them having so much of a sweat trouble by sitting in air conditioned hotels and moving nothing more than their eyeballs and hands.

Anyways... I compared it to another, non-smart deodorant nearby, and there really doesn't seem to be much difference.

I think that one might be more crafty than smart. Just in case you find it unbelievable that Adidas may have done something as stupid as this then have a look here.

Cheers!

Calling Names

In the past few days I've been giving a lot of introductions. That's usually the case at the start of a new assignment. I'm so-n-so working on this-n-that... blah blah blah. It's now got to the point that I get dejavu of having a dejavu!

I can almost predict how it's gonna go. If it's someone from our part of the world the first name isn't so much of a problem. The last name... well... at times! I've got used to it but my problem is with people who have 10-14 alphabets in their own name making faces or trying to act like they've been given a tongue twister and breaking my last name into 3 distinct parts and making the worst possible pronounciation and looking rather coy about it all. I cannot even begin to break their name into parts. I would refrain in giving specific examples because I really dont know who would read this post and who wouldn't but I would like to get my point across!

I wanted someone to mail me something. I told him my mail id and as usual he screwed around with the pronounciation. I knew him by a rather short 6 lettered name which he was referred to by. I receive a mail which had two words, neither less than 14 alphabets. I for one second thought it was a spam! The callout name was no where in the first or last name. I didn't even know how the hell am I supposed to read it. And this was the idiot who was trying to act smart.

I decided to get even. I called up after an hour or so and told him that I hadn't received his mail yet and asked him to step on it! He said he had mailed me and said the name which I should look for... I put on a show of surprise at this revelation! Point made.

On the other hand, in the case of those who're unaware of names or pronounciations in our part of the world the entertainment starts from the first name itself. We never really reach the last name part of it. Some time during a meeting tasks were being assigned to some 'Gandalf'. On further clarification it was revealed that I was the famous LOTR magician now working on something even more mysterious!!

But I get a lot of sympathy from those wonderful people from Eastern european and ex-USSR countries. I mean you gotta give it to them. Their names are a group of 9 consonants and not more than 1 vowel. That's creditable! I seriously think someone should buy a couple of vowels and gift them. I cant imagine how tough things must be for them...

But now after the introductions this name calling has pretty much stopped and even I've switched to a callout name but atleast it's obvious where it came from!

Cheers!

Sunday, September 30, 2007

I wonder why...

I visited the neighbourhood ATM today evening. I find a receipt sticking out of the slot which spits out the withdrawal receipts. This was how it read like.. kind of.

WITHDRAWAL : Rs. 100

REMAINING BALANCE: Rs. 2,29,146

The withdrawal was made from a non-ICICI bank account. That was because the output print format was different from ICICI accounts.

Now what could the possible reasons be for someone who had 2.29L in his account to withdraw just 100 bucks and be in such tremendous rush that he couldn't wait or forgot to collect the receipt.

A very plausible explanation is that he fell short by a very short amount to pay someone who couldn't wait for long. That amount in my opinion would be much lesser than Rs. 100. And though the fact that he had 2.29L in his account had nothing to do how much he'll have in his wallet but it does tell us that he must be having a reasonable income to maintain this amount. It could be payment for the auto rickshaw fare or to a fruit/ vegetable vendor or someone who couldn't accept plastic money!

Another thing worth pondering is to why didn't he withdraw a higher amount which would take care of his future expenses too. For all I know all this could be just a show off thing. I mean just to make the next innocent withdrawer from the ATM wonder about it or leave him awestruck.

Extremely uniquely & very very strange.

Cheers!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Canine Attack!

Here's something you don't have happen to you every day.

I was driving home minding my own business a couple of days back, when the window to the car in front of me opens. Some sort of giant dog sticks his head out the window. I laugh, because the dog is monstrous. Like a Marmaduke kind of dog, except being a real dog he was much funnier than the one depicted in the comic strip. It keeps shaking it's head from left to right, I presume from staring at the lines on the road or the vehicles or something. Frankly, Who cares!

Everything is fine for a bit, and then I suddenly realize that my windshield is being pelted by something. Big gobs of something foamy and wet. This giant dog is foaming at the mouth, slobbering, whatever you want to call it -- and it is whipping backwards from the dog to my windshield. I couldn't believe my luck.

I made a split-second decision to turn on the wipers -- which, in retrospect, was the absolute worst thing I could have done. The wipers proceeded to smear dog lugie from one end of my windshield to another. And soon it turned into a piece of art across the windshield. It even dried out in the wind. It was a pretty site. To top it off, I was completely out of the windshield cleaning water. So I had to drive all the way home peering through dog lugie. Some of it was even on the bonnet & the side view mirror. Good times are here to stay!

Cheers!

Friday, September 07, 2007

A Long Lost Indian

I heard this on TV today and tried to search the net for a detailed report regarding this incident which would actually provide some authencity. I have no faith in the tabloid journalistic style of the Indian media. I didn't get any concrete news piece on this but I would still go ahead and post it with this disclaimer!

Apparently there's some thief by the name Peter Edison who takes pride in his art. He stole from a department store and painted the line 'Peter Edison was here' on the nearby wall or floor or something like that. I know pretty dumb for a thief but supposedly he did it. May be he was inspired by some Hollywood flick.

As expected the police picked him up in under an hour and at that time he was wearing one of the T-shirt he had stolen some time back. Doesn't sound like a very skilled thief... or anyone with any considerable brains either. Anyways...

My hypothesis is, assuming this story is some what true, this guy's name wasn't really Peter Edison. Even if he was Peter Edison, he was in all probabilities some long lost Indian. It was really a no-brainer!

Are you still wondering how I came to this conclusion?

I really really dont know any other country where people have the hobby of engraving 'Raju loves Pammi' messages wherever they go.

Cheers!

Monday, September 03, 2007

Baywatch!

An (oversized) gujju lady decided to have a swim in the pool, in my residential complex, last weekend. She had apparently enrolled for swimming classes 3 months back. We came to know about this later. As she had enrolled for classes that long ago, she expected to be quite proficient in swimming. Information regarding how many days out of the three months did she actually attend the classes was withheld from the public.

So she dived into the deep end of the pool with a big splash I might add. Quite comically, she couldn't swim, started drowning and quite badly. So the trainer cum lifeguard who was teaching 7 year olds in the shallow pool did the next logical thing which was also his job.

He rescued the damsel in distress and she was brought ashore. By this time a considerably large crowd consisting of mothers of the 7 year olds learning to swim, oldies who come for a stroll in the park nearby, other swimmers, kids playing in the activity room nearby had gathered. All were quite shocked at what had happened but were also happy that the lifeguard was around to save the day and the 90 kg sack.

The woman who had almost lost her consciousness comes true and everyone's enquiring if she was alright.

The first line she says, to the lifeguard... "Haath kyon lagaya???!!!"

Ouch! All that you see on TV is not true...

Cheers!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

The Herd Mentality

I took the 'late' bus to office today and am I thankful for that. I saw quite an interesting sight on the way. The bus takes the highway enroute to office and that was where I saw it. Around 100-150 vehicles, may be even more, trucks-cars-buses alike were traveling on the wrong side of the road in a single file just like kindergarten kids off for some excursion. My bus was on the correct side so I could see this and was really quite bemused!

What was the deal with everyone?

The traffic on the other side too was slow moving as half of their path was obstructed by this procession. Unable to resist my curiosity, I enquired with the driver who told me that there had been an accident on our side of the road some distance ahead at around 7 or 8 AM and everyone had found 'that' wrong detour as the fastest way to reach their destination.

How proud I was of the Indian 'jugaad'... The chaos on the highway plus the accident during rush hour must've resulted into quite a few disgruntled commuters.

But quite clearly there was no reason to follow that road any longer. The rubble or whatever was obstructing free movement of traffic seemed to have been removed. But then thanks to the herd mentality hoards of cars just set out following the one ahead without even thinking what they were doing. And it being an highway it was not possible to cross over to the correct side of the road after realising their folly. I'm quite shocked at how people could just blindly do something which was quite clearly not just a traffic violation but something very dangerous as well...

But I was happy, our bus cruised through the highway in record time, quite clearly our driver was a man of vision, who dared to set his foot against the herd. He didn't care about who was doing what and he just stuck to the basics and did the right thing. Enough of trash... He knew the accident had been cleared!

Quite clearly the imbalance of information, as Prof. Ghorpade used to put it, had worked in our favour!

Cheers!

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Taking on the Tele-marketers!

Whenever I get a telemarketing call and I'm asked if I'm interested in a particular thing which they're selling, my reply is "Yeah. Sure. I'm interested!" and I slam down the phone, which I find extremely effective and amusing.

However a few days back I didn't answer it that way for some reason and here is how the conversation went.

Me: Hello.
TM: Good Morning, Sir! I'm calling from Barclay's Bank. We've recently launched our credit card operations in India and would like to offer you a life time free Gold Credit Card.
Me: Ok.
TM: Would you be interested in listening to all the details of this credit card?
Me: Yeah, Sure! (He then tells me about all the features, services and details while I listen to all the crap patiently)
Me: Ok. That's good. What all documents would you require.
TM: Sir, Do you hold any other credit cards?
Me: Yes.
TM: Ok. I'll need the credit card's monthly statement of your last billing cycle. An address proof like ration card.
Me: Well... I don't have a ration card.
TM: Sir, Any address proof will do like electricity bill, telephone bill etc. Anything is fine.
Me: I live in a rented apartment so I don't really have these bills on my name. You'll need them on my name, right?
TM: Yes Sir. You can give these bills along with the rental agreement copy.
Me: Well... There is no agreement as such. I'm staying in a relative's flat.
TM: Sir, you can give us your mobile bills as address proof too.
Me: I use a pre-paid connection.
TM: (puzzled) Sir, Kindly hold on for a moment.
TM: Sir, just your credit card statement is fine. It'll have your address too.
Me: Well... Firstly I haven't subscribed for getting monthly statement on paper since the bank charges me for it and even if I do get it the address proof from them somehow, it's not of this city.
TM: A... a... Sir, you must be having a local bank account, right? You can give us the address proof from the bank. That is also accepted.
Me: I don't have bank account in this city either.
TM: (Completely bamboozled!) Sir... Kindly hold on for a second! (He then transfers the call to someone who I presume was his senior and we go through the entire conversation all over again)
TM: Sir, I'm sorry but you will have to furnish one of these proofs in order to be eligible for acquiring a credit card.
Me: Ok. No problem.

I couldn't stop laughing after the call. A telemarketer had to reject my request for a credit card. It was most unbelievable. What made it more bizarre was that I had not bluffed on any of these answers. All of them were true. However, there were other proofs which I could furnish like passport, driver's license, employer's address proof etc if I actually did want the card.

Anyways... The more important reason why I felt like sharing this with everyone was the enforcement of the National Do Not Call Registry from October and that the telemarketrs are liable to be punished in case they still haress you! So this is a post issued in public interest.

Read this article for greater insight on the purpose of this post... I sure wouldv'e been a rich man if this had happened after October.

Cheers!

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Conversation on a Cookery Show

This is a real incident that happened live on the television.

The Setting: One of the many cookery shows being telecast on television. An 'expert' chef and a sub-25 dim-wit chick (DWC).

The Recipe: Some cake.

The Plot: It's a custom to have conversations with the expert chef and as is expected from the anchor keep asking intelligent questions which may arise in the minds of the viewers so as to clarify the recipe.

The Knockout:
.
.
.
Chef: Now add 2 table spoons of soda (powder) to it and mix well.
DWC: Is that Baking Soda?

I was floored by this absolute snorter of a question... I just have so many different comments, so many many remarks to make on this from different point of views that I find it difficult to pick one...

So in the words of one of my dear friend... Mera dil kuch aur keh raha hai... Mera dimaag kuch aur keh raha hai... No Comments!

Cheers!

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Waste Harvesting

I was lucky to be a witness to an innovation at work.

Today I saw a corporation garbage truck collecting trash from the (originally) yellow coloured public trash cans which are essentially a pointer indicating 'Dispose off your waste somewhere in this vicinity, not necessarily into the trash can'. There's an environment of it's own in and around these fragrant locations.

Anyways, I did not spot the truck at once. I just spotted a trail of some unrecognisable filth similar to the water trails left behind by water tankers. I caught a glimpse of this trail somewhere near a chowk and since (luckily) I was following going by the same route I ultimately spotted the 'animal' which was responsible for this. It had been halted by the side of the road near a trash can and was doing it's stuff. I don't need to reiterate the condition of this leaky truck!

My mind went back to a similar trail I had come across a few months back. It was however of soil and a few random leaves left behind by a truck which was planting trees along a road. A good job to aid in decoration of the roads and rain water harvesting! It was doing it's bit to change the composition of air.

Then I realised this must be a new project by the corporation. Another (more successful) effort to beautify the road, also try and change the composition of air.

I bet they call this Waste-Harvesting!

Cheers!

Saturday, June 23, 2007

The Elevator

I have always wondered what magical powers does the elevator or lifts have which prompts people to behave irrationally, mostly, without even entering it. This isn't a singular incident. I have experienced several of almost similar type.

I was waiting for the elevator when a guy staying in my building arrives. He too wanted to use the elevator. He sees that I've already pressed the button but he presses it once again. The elevator is taking a while coming. So he starts hitting the button. Furiously. Agitatedly. Repeatedly.

My guess is he had this feeling that in some mysterious way the speed of the elevator was controlled by or was dependent on the number of times the button was pressed. May be even the intensity with which it is pressed. The pressure that is exerted on the button may be. Number of swear words used could be another possible factor on which the velocity, acceleration and momentum of the elevator car could depend.

Then the lift stops at some other floor on it's way down. The music that keeps playing when the lift door opens up starts humming out it's rather irritating tune. I have heard just one more application which rings a tune which can compete with the elevator music in terms of irritability- Car reverse music. Anyways...

He remarks... "What kind of people are these... absolutely no consideration for others. There are others in the building who want to use the lift!!"

I fail to understand what he was trying to say. Did he want them to get in or get out of the lift without using the door? Or did he want them to not use the lift at all when he was around or what!

Finally the lift arrived. We got in. We keyed in our respective floors. I was lucky that I stayed in the upper floor and was gonna get out of the lift after him, else I would be accused of using it for my selfish gains! I kept wondering would he now keep banging the button for the lift to reach his floor faster? Thankfully he didn't. The lift stopped at his floor, he got out and I shut the cage to carry on my vertical ascent.

May be some day some eccentric scientist will come up with an elevator which will respond to repetitive, unnecessary, illogical hard-hitting of buttons. May be some day people like this gentleman will be happy even if it means completely freaking out those inside the elevator due to sudden fluctuations in speed! Until that day... Let's enjoy our mundane life!

Cheers!

Friday, June 22, 2007

Customer Care

Actual Conversation with Airtel Customer Care Executive (CCE)

CCE: Hello. This is Suwarna. How may I help you?
Me: Hi. Outgoing calls and outgoing messages on my number have been barred. Can you tell me the reason?
CCE: Kindly be on the line, Sir. I'll just check and let you know.

(Music)

CCE: Thank you for holding the line. Sir, your address verification has come out negative. So your outgoing calls and messages have been barred.
Me: What? I met the person who had come for verification like couple of days back.

(Silence)

CCE: Yes Sir. He had visited you on 19th June.
Me: So what happened? Why is the verification negative then?
CCE: Well Sir, He verified your address for the number 99XXXXXXXX but according to our records your number is 99YYYYYYYY.
Me: You guys changed the number! I didn't ask for a change. I was told that the earlier number wasn't getting activated on my particular SIM so a different number was alloted to me. Also for a day or so some other customer's number was activated on my SIM.
CCE: Yes Sir. That's the reason for your address verification coming out negative.
Me: Okay! So now what? (Trying to keep my patience)
CCE: Your address will have to be verified again.
Me: Really? But you already know I am present at the address I've stated. You should be able to just sort out the issue within your system! (Realizing there was no point in explaining my logic to the the CCE) Anyways... So send the person to my address on Monday. (I was really fed up by this point)
CCE: Sir, We cant do it from here. You'll have to go to a Airtel Center, raise a request for address verification and they'll send the person after that.
(Now I've had it)
Me: What? Why cant customer care do that! Isn't that what customer care is supposed to do? Help the customers.
CCE: Yes Sir. But we already sent the person for address verification once. If he has to be sent again for some reason then the customer has to go to the Airtel center and raise the request.
(I presume that's like a punishment for screwing up on the first address verification)
Me: But the reason in my case was that the person who had come for verification made a mistake. You're not having to resend him because of my mistake. The error was from Airtel's side. So the person should be resent without me having to do nothing with it. In fact my outgoing calls shouldn't be barred either. But I'm not arguing about that!

(Silence)

CCE: Sorry Sir. I understand but I cannot help you.
Me: Thank you very much!
CCE: Would there be anything else?
Me: You tell me! Bye.